Grammar quandary (your response welcome)
I welcome input on this. I have a photo caption (edited slightly to remove people’s names from this public post) that currently reads:
John Doe participates in the latest health screening which includes measuring blood pressure and weight, and a comprehensive blood draw to measure blood sugar, cholesterol, triglycerides, and other parameters.
A proofreader was sure that it needed to be changed:
…which includes measuring blood pressure, weight, and a comprehensive blood draw…
Who’s right? Here’s my argument. There are two compound lists going on here. The screening includes two primary things: the measurement of two health statistics (which do not require a blood draw) as well as a blood draw to measure a number of other things. For example, if I turned the list around, it would be:
John Doe participates in the latest health screening which includes a comprehensive blood draw to measure blood sugar, cholesterol, tryglycerides, and other parameters, and measuring blood pressure and weight.
Mind you, I don’t want to turn it around like that because doing so doesn’t read as well. But what do you think? As I said above, what I see is that the screening includes two things—measuring some things that do not require a blood draw and measuring some other things that do require a blood draw.
Who’s right? Me, or the proofreader?