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an article by Lori Glase

One of our intimate times together while dating provoked me to ask Lee one evening, “Can you imagine being monotonous—after all, this is ME we’re talking about?” What I meant to ask was: Can you imagine being in a monogamous relationship? I wanted to be sure he could see himself be faithful to me—and only me—something I wasn’t sure previous relationships had afforded me; and after hearing him say he’d have been OK in his previous relationship never being married—just as long as he was with her—concerned me. So, I brought up what I saw to be a legitimate question.

Imagine my shock when he started laughing almost hysterically at me. “Be monotonous…with you? NOT POSSIBLE!” My heart must’ve sunk ten feet. He couldn’t imagine being with only me. And if that were the case, that meant no future for us—no point in dating either.

The look on his face held humor, but grew serious when he observed the solemn look that must’ve been on mine. He was so with me in that moment, I couldn’t understand how someone who got me so completely couldn’t imagine being with only me. Why wasn’t I enough?

Instead of childishly withdrawing, I dared to ask, “Why isn’t that possible?”

“Because nothing is boring with you, my dear!” he answered.

Now I was really confused. “So, you’d rather be bored the rest of your life?”

“No. And I’m not gonna hafta be. I have you.”

About this time, a light bulb came on in my head and I fumbled to push Lee away from me and retrieve my iPhone.

“What’s wrong?” Lee watched me dumb-founded. “Is it something I said?”

“No. I think it’s something I said.” I flipped through the apps until I found the dictionary. Discovering my mistake, I laughed like crazy until tears fell. Poor Lee was bewildered.

Taking in my amusement, he finally asked, “Are you going to share it with me?”

Regaining my composure, I relived the past several minutes, cluing him in on what I had really meant to say. “See? Nothing will ever be monotonous with you,” he laughed, “and for reasons such as this!”

He then assured me that he, too, believes in MONOGOMOUS relationships and that he found whom he wanted to be monogamous with—forever.

In the end, we both agreed: Monogamy does NOT equal monotony!

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